Halloween: the season of spooky fun – corn mazes, haunted houses, and candy galore. In the name of spooky fun, I thought I’d share the top 10 things that freak out my feminist heart. In my head I was gonna do (for once) a well researched, cited piece. Full disclosure. I had my 20th high school reunion last weekend and I’m still in recovery. So you’re not getting citations. It’s unfiltered Ariel. Muwahahahahaha!
10. The Notorious RBG will both retire and die. On the for real. I think about this sometimes and my heart starts beating fast. What will we do without her?!
9. Each Republican candidate. Srsly, y’all. Srsly. Not awesome for the laydeez. Get the damn vote out there. And if you vote third party I will lecture the SHIT out of you. Do you not remember the 2000 Gore v Bush election? Fuck that noise.
8. Planned Parenthood being de-funded. They gave me my first pap, and someone had knitted sweet little booties for the stirrups, and they were so kind and gentle. I’ve never once feared a pelvic and pap, and I attribute that to my wonderful experience at the #PP. Also. I really really really don’t want to live in a world in which women are forced to either have a child they don’t want or find a back alley abortionist. Fuck. I’m gonna get a 2fer in here and say I would be FUCKED if I didn’t have access to birth control. I like sex and don’t want babies. I need PP to stay an option for women’s reproductive health.
7. Third wave feminists. I know, I know. I’m third wave. But there are a lot of us who don’t have the respect for our second wave mamas that we should. They fought long and hard for the small gains we’ve made – we stand on their shoulders. Respect. *sidenote, if you’re developing your feminist voice, find a feminist mentor. You don’t have to do this on your own, take the opportunity to make the movement STRONGER. Take the opportunity to make yourself STRONGER.
6. Slut shaming. I was in a room with a high school senior recently, and she was sharing how if you went out with (basically) more than one guy all of high school, you’re called a slut. What the actual fuck? Hasn’t everyone in the world seen Amber Rose’s Stride of Pride video? Watch it claim and proclaim your sexual awesomeness. Model that biz for our young feminist peoples.
5. MRA, Red Pillers, etc. I’m still PISSED about the Waking Life bullshit. (had to go local for a sec). These jerks have made every woman question whether or not every man is one of theeze. Not good for anyone. Also. See #6
4. Sexy (insert profession) costume. Listen. I like to show some cleavage as much as anyone. And our sweet Lord knows I’ve made more than my fair share of really bad fashion choices (I’m looking at you NYE 2003). And I also know that my sweet little niece sees all these awful costumes and starts to take into her little sponge brain that women are good for being sexy and men are good for being scary. Do not even try to confuse this with #6. This doesn’t have one little tiny thing to do with slut shaming. Can women have the OPTION of a decent Halloween costume we don’t have to hand swe? Can we stop the madness?
3. All the princess and pink everythings. I can’t even go down the toy aisle without getting so mad I want to trash the stores (big box stores, you can thank my feminist mama for working with me on my impulse control)
2. We still don’t have the ERA. For real. We’re still talking about this. And let’s put these states on blast: North Carolina (my home, my love, my disappointment),Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Illinois, Louisiana, Mississippi, Missouri, Nevada,, Oklahoma, South Carolina, Utah, and Virginia.
1. Anyone who isn’t openly and proudly a feminist. The word has a bad rap in some circles. And I’ve def heard women say “I’m not a feminist. I love men.” Oh wait, was that Lady Gaga or Tay Swift I need to lecture? I am leaning into the word FEMINISM. And I call on each of you who aren’t identified as a feminist (listen up menfolk, you can be a feminist too!) to reach out to me. Talk to me or another feminist you know, get those myths busted, enter the movement.
Alright. I can’t say this list is rank ordered to my satisfaction, but you’ll forgive me if I give you the good candy, right?
Enjoy Halloween my lovies!